“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did.” Mark Twain
My fellow blogger, writer Tina Frisco, recently published a moving article — Chronic Illness and Self-Acceptance — about coping with social media when you are beset by bad health, in our case, autoimmune conditions. She put into words many of my feelings and experiences, ones I have wanted to express for months so that you would understand how challenging it is and why my ability to sustain the blogs is peripatetic. Finding the right words was proving impossible so I am grateful to Tina.
“When I visit blogs, my ability to comment depends on my cognitive state at that moment,” Tina tells us. It is exactly the same for me and I’ve been horribly conscious of comments I’ve not made on other people’s blogs or the answers to comments on my blogs that have been impossible for me to dredge up from the brain fog.
“My biggest challenge is keeping up with social media,” writes Tina. “Writing can be accomplished when I’m feeling well enough, but maintaining an online presence can be demanding. I often find myself merely treading water. And when in a flare-up, I feel as if I’m trudging through neck-high water, pushing myself to complete the simplest of tasks.”
My experiences exactly!
I may not have the twenty years that Twain talks about if the latest results from the hospital are to be taken seriously. I question whether they can be regarded as sacrosanct because the news included the withdrawal of a recent diagnosis, namely the Ulcerative Colitis. Whatever is wrong with me (it’s a year and counting since they started to investigate), it ain’t UC. But who knows? That may change back again and it wouldn’t surprise me what with the state of our NHS and the medical staff at whatever level doing the job of four in most cases.
What I can tell you is that they saw, from the various, scans, X-rays and biopsies, something else and that something else has gone from ‘mild’ to ‘severe’. I’ll have to wait about eight weeks to be given a prognosis from the relevant department. I’m not going to go into it because I don’t want to talk about it and would ask you not to question me about it below or in an email. I know you care and I know that your first instinct will be to open your arms and embrace me with love and strength. I thank you for that. This is not because I’m having trouble and feeling miserable but because I have better things to do with my time! You know me. I keep smiling and I’m rarely bored except by certain people, plays and films. Oh, and golf.
And so forgive me but I really don’t want to be on my deathbed saying, “Why on earth did I spend an unconscionable amount of time visiting, reading, and ‘liking’ those blog posts when I could have written all my books?”
I shall still post any art that I create as well as theatre and history on the other blogs but I will quite understand if you choose not to visit after this.
Have a lovely weekend!
Take care and keep laughing!