First Night Design | “…you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do…”

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did.”  Mark Twain


My fellow blogger, writer Tina Frisco, recently published a moving article — Chronic Illness and Self-Acceptance — about coping with social media when you are beset by bad health, in our case, autoimmune conditions. She put into words many of my feelings and experiences, ones I have wanted to express for months so that you would understand how challenging it is and why my ability to sustain the blogs is peripatetic. Finding the right words was proving impossible so I am grateful to Tina.

“When I visit blogs, my ability to comment depends on my cognitive state at that moment,” Tina tells us. It is exactly the same for me and I’ve been horribly conscious of comments I’ve not made on other people’s blogs or the answers to comments on my blogs that have been impossible for me to dredge up from the brain fog.

“My biggest challenge is keeping up with social media,” writes Tina. “Writing can be accomplished when I’m feeling well enough, but maintaining an online presence can be demanding. I often find myself merely treading water. And when in a flare-up, I feel as if I’m trudging through neck-high water, pushing myself to complete the simplest of tasks.”

My experiences exactly!

I may not have the twenty years that Twain talks about if the latest results from the hospital are to be taken seriously. I question whether they can be regarded as sacrosanct because the news included the withdrawal of a recent diagnosis, namely the Ulcerative Colitis. Whatever is wrong with me (it’s a year and counting since they started to investigate), it ain’t UC. But who knows? That may change back again and it wouldn’t surprise me what with the state of our NHS and the medical staff at whatever level doing the job of four in most cases.

What I can tell you is that they saw, from the various, scans, X-rays and biopsies, something else and that something else has gone from ‘mild’ to ‘severe’. I’ll have to wait about eight weeks to be given a prognosis from the relevant department. I’m not going to go into it because I don’t want to talk about it and would ask you not to question me about it below or in an email. I know you care and I know that your first instinct will be to open your arms and embrace me with love and strength. I thank you for that.  This is not because I’m having trouble and feeling miserable but because I have better things to do with my time! You know me. I keep smiling and I’m rarely bored except by certain people, plays and films. Oh, and golf.

And so forgive me but I really don’t want to be on my deathbed saying, “Why on earth did I spend an unconscionable amount of time visiting, reading, and ‘liking’ those blog posts when I could have written all my books?”

I shall still post any art that I create as well as theatre and history on the other blogs but I will quite understand if you choose not to visit after this.

Have a lovely weekend!

Take care and keep laughing!


21 thoughts on “First Night Design | “…you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do…”

  1. Good morning Sarah – Thank you so much for this. Unless we walk in someones shoes it’s hard to understand what they are really experiencing. Mark Twain’s quote is perfect and oh so true. Here’s hoping that you enjoy a lovely and healthy weekend. Janet xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I hope there are no boring plays, films or people coming your way, Sarah. (I’m sure you’ll manage to avoid golf. After all, itis not very fast moving!)
    Thinking of you. All the best.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. All I can ever do is wish you the best with your problems and say I’m around if you ever want to chat but I’m thinking of you whether you visit and comment on the blog or not. I’m hoping to restart this weekend and I promise not to mention golf.
    xxx Massive Hugs Sarah xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Oh, I wish I could give you a hug – sending a virtual one instead. I love seeing your art work and reading the articles you share so I’ll still drop by but there’s no need for you to like or reply to any comment I make. Much love x

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I find it so helpful to think about 20 years from now when I, if I live that long, will be preparing to turn 84. You remind me to try to accomplish things now, to try, and this is the most useful advice for a life of fulfillment.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Sarah, twenty years ago, I was told that I had rheumatoid factor in my blood. I shrugged it off because, at that time, I had no pain. Since then, I had become a bionic woman with artificial joints and a completely reconstructed spine. Some nerves in my leg were accidentally severed during that major surgery and I am easily losing balance when walking which looks to many like had a few. Tonight, I dreamed I was running again. That happens often. There is no justice in life. I feel for you.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Sarah, I’m so sorry to hear you’re in limbo once again re: a diagnosis. I empathize with your frustration and understand your not wanting to talk about it. I’m glad you made a decision about blogging and fully support you in this. I will continue to visit your blog when I am able. Today, I have a little energy and popped in to reply to comments on my blog. Thank you so much for sharing my post. I hope it will help others who, like us, struggle to keep up while dealing with a chronic illness. Sending you love and healing energy, my friend. Hugs ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Hi Sarah – totally understand. It is hard to keep up with all the social media without feeling ill. I am not sure how you have kept up so well. Got to take care of you first, then the blogs. Hope you start feeling better. Wishing you the best….

    Liked by 2 people

  9. AWE you poor thing! My daughter was just diagnosed with that and is having a tough time for sure! I’m sending my love and prayers to you and never worry about not visiting! I just happened to be on my reader and your art caught my eye as always! Much much love and healing prayers to you. xoxo ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My latest post contains a number of Mark Twain quotes, but none of them are about illness, so I thought I’d pass along this one by Geo. Bernard Shaw:

    “I enjoy convalescence. It is the part that makes the illness worthwhile.”

    Hopefully, something to look forward to. In any case, “keep smiling.”

    Liked by 1 person

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